My life has always been people telling me who I am. Everyone thinks they know me but the truth is they only know what I want them to know. You can’t put a finger on who I am, I can’t put a finger on who I am…I’m the girl who just wants the view of the beautiful beach and wants to see the world.
I love growing; I’m never the same person I was yesterday, I learn and grow from everyone I meet, everyone teaches me things about myself, life and who I want to be. People interest me, the way they look when they’re in a daydream or the way their face scrunches up when they’re angry. We are all so different yet so alike, we all want love, happiness and people will do whatever it takes to get it.
I don’t ask anyone to understand me or my life because I don’t understand it; I do what I feel is right and sometimes it’s not but I learn. I don’t judge anyone because everyone thinks differently and what may seem right to you could seem very wrong to me. Somethings people do I will never understand but that’s okay because I’m not them and I don’t have to understand because that’s not my life. I just want to be happy and make other people happy.
I get told I’m a child and I don’t understand life, I’m too young to. It’s funny because how can someone who doesn’t know how I feel or what I have been through decide if I get life or think I’m too young to feel a certain way. Life isn’t determined by how old you are, it’s your life experiences and how you deal with things that make you who you are. Depression is an example of this, people think that something terrible has to happen in your life to have depression and laugh at you because they think you’re making it up and then try to explain how their life is a lot harder. Truth is depression can happen to anyone at any age and telling someone that they don’t have depression they’re just a bit sad is horrible and just disgusting! What gives you the right to decide if someone is depressed or not?! That’s what’s so wrong with society you have to be harming yourself in some way for anyone to notice and it’s the same with anxiety you have to be having serious panic attacks to get noticed! If you feel incredibly down, have no motivation, tried all the time don’t want to move from your bed, get emotional and feel empty to the point where you get physical feelings in your body you’re just a joke because “it’s all in your head” SHUT UP! Just because you can’t see the scares on somebody’s body doesn’t mean they aren’t going through hell!
I get scared to be sad because I feel that it’s not valid and my feelings don’t matter but I shouldn’t feel like that, my feelings are valid and I should be able to cry or show emotion when things hurt me and not be afraid of someone judging me thinking I’m attention seeking. I’m not a child but I’m not an adult and in this world, we are told to act like adults but treated like children. Sometimes I’m silly and I mess around that’s who I am, I joke and laugh with people because that’s what life is for but I’m also very serious and mature and I know what I want from life, I know how to be strong and fight because when you lose everything and everyone you have got to learn how to be by yourself and be your own best friend.
I’m not asking anyone to understand my life or even understand anyone else’s, I’m just saying that there is more than what meets the eye and I think that just because your life /story is different from someone else’s doesn’t mean their story is wrong it just means they’re on a different path and you need to accept that; too many people are in competition when really what someone else does is none of your business, you can either help and support them or just don’t get involved but you have no right to judge them.
Focus on your life and path and you will live a more positive life.
Alice xo
Alice Woodward 