Recently I have been thinking… a lot! Dangerous I know?! However, I think it’s important to think and evaluate stuff. We are all so busy nowadays; moving on from one thing to another that we don’t have time to get bored or to really let things sink in. I haven’t been active recently and this is why. This is what my mind has been thinking…
Abandonment sucks. I have been left and let down by so many people and it does leave scars. Massive ones that leave you feeling empty, betrayed and lost. It hurts because it’s usually by the people you like and care about the most. When it happens time and time again you question yourself. You start not acting yourself to please someone else. Crazy how there are people out there who suck the life out of you whether they know it or not.
I was left when I needed people the most. Maybe that’s why I’m so caring towards others because I know the feeling of pain that you can’t describe. The nights wide awake, the grieving of the undead, the anger, the tears. And then something quite weird happens. KARMA! Something I didn’t really believe at first but I’m starting too. What goes around comes around!
The people who hurt me betrayed me, watch me. It’s quite fascinating. You know who you are, reading my blog, liking my Instagram pictures. Following what I do. Turning into fans. I’m not bitter and I’m not here to cause upset however I find it so interesting how the ones who supposedly don’t care and hurt me watch what I do.
Everyone wants to be your friend and know you when you’re doing well. And that is the sad truth. You weren’t there when I needed you but you’re all here when I’m doing good. I’m afraid I’m not about that. Don’t come back to me when the same things happen to you and you have no one. Taste of your own medicine hurts.
It’s important to grieve. Even though those people aren’t dead. It’s still painful. Someone has left you, abandoned you. You are allowed to feel hurt. I know it can also feel silly and you can feel stupid. But what’s stupid is they are letting go of someone who cares for you very deeply. Don’t ever change who you are to please someone else. They aren’t clearly right for you. Better to know now then later.
I get really annoyed and upset when people make excuses for the way they behave and blame it on mental health. I know everyone deals with things differently, however, there is no need to be rude, arrogant and nasty. There are people out there who suffer in silence and it really bugs me that there are people who twist things out of spite and blame it on anxiety etc. It’s rude and disrespectful!
I never understand rude people or just people who are nasty. Why do you do it? Everyone suffers from something, is going through something and that’s so important to realise. When you send that text that you know might hurt someone. Spreading a rumour. Pointing out people’s flaws. You just don’t do it. How would you like it? We are all human, we all experience pain. Let’s all be respectful.
A mouth full…yes! But I wanted to be honest. Don’t lose sight of who you are.
Lots of love and happiness
Alice xo
Alice Woodward 