I have really had to learn to step back and let things be and learn how to be still.
I found this and still am finding this hard. With a brain that doesn’t let me rest overthinking everything. I have to remind myself what is important and ground myself. Otherwise I fly off into wonderland and it’s hard to come down.
I had to really shout at myself and say “stop rushing.”
I want everything now and I want to do everything now and well that’s not life and that’s not how things happen. We build such a plan of things in our heads that it can be unrealistic and not in the sense of you can’t reach your goals but in a sense of how you feel, how people will behave towards you and very simply seeing what others have and thinking we are behind. I have said it before and I will say it again because I need the reminding too- SOCIAL MEDIA IS A HIGHLIGHT REEL!!
I’m sometimes guilty of making my life look better than it is but I think we all are really. No one sees the sleepless nights, the crying, the darkness. So it’s so important to me to balance it out. It’s important to show people that it is shit sometimes and that’s okay.
I want things so intensely that I don’t realise how that looks on the outside. I care so much; way more than I probably should but as much as it’s a pain it is a quality I do like and never want to lose.
You have got to also let other people heal and that’s so hard because you have such pure intentions but they aren’t there yet and that’s okay. I’m learning to not take things so personally because it’s not about me.
I have tried to learn to drive for years it just really doesn’t come naturally and well it’s so expensive nowadays. I really beat myself up about it. “What’s wrong with me everyone else can do it.”
However, there is no timeline for any of this. I have to remind myself that at this stage of my life I don’t need it just yet and to stop putting pressure on myself. I want to do it and it will come but forcing it is not going to do anything. I realised this in many aspects in my life. I like to control and force things not out of nastiness but because I care so much. I want it to be perfect but that’s not life and I don’t think I would want it to be perfect. There are some real moments in between that are so important and have definitely shaped me.
I read something recently that really inspired me and opened my eyes.
Now I don’t know that this is true and I’m not claiming it is. I just think it’s an interesting idea.
The new year doesn’t begin January 1st. The new year should be celebrated in the spring.
We are in winter time. A time where nature and animals hibernate and rest. It’s so cold. We get ill this time of year. We have such a busy December that we all feel so defeated and not ready to start anything. The spring is when life begins again and everything blooms including us.
I really relate to this. I’m not putting any pressure on myself and it’s been hard to well ‘hibernate.’
I feel that my mindset has completely shifted from doing so though. It’s fascinating how when you accept that this is just a small part of your life and having a month off or a couple months off to heal and to really sit with yourself and figure out what you want. It’s so important and it freaked me out at the beginning because I thought I was falling behind but actually it’s a necessary step in moving forward.
It’s super scary leasing control of your life and trusting in the process.
I feel calmer. Which for me is quite something haha.
Not beating myself up for laying in bed too long, not beating myself up if I stay in my pjs all day, not beating myself up if I eat comfort foods.
This is natural- the world is resting so why can’t we?
I’m not saying just stop and be lazy but be open to resting.
It’s time to reflect and really focus on what you want this year to be and doing small things to get you there. I’m talking about not rushing just stepping back. I assure you once you step back and really look at your life you will see the answers a lot better than trying to do everything at once.
Reflecting is a nice thing to do because although there might have been more hardships than good times. I think it’s important to remind yourself and take yourself back to those nice times.
I do this when I’m listening to music. Some songs can spark a memory or a daydream.
I like to look and think about the small details of the memories. Who I was with with, the laughter, the jokes, the taste of coffee, the taste of a home cooked roast, the warmth of a fire.
It makes me smile and brings me back down to earth when my head is racing thinking about the next thing.
In January we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to change and be better. Please don’t. If all you are doing this January is getting your head into a new book and not getting out of your cosy pjs and slippers that you got for Christmas. Then same here. It’s okay to be still. I think we all need to learn some balance in our lives. How can you pour from an over flowing cup?
Lots of love and happiness
Alice xo
Alice Woodward 